Dr’s for me in the morning I guess :(

high temp


I’ve been feeling hot all day but not actually been hot, guess my temp has broke out now, I was hoping to avoid antibiotics but the throbbing flank pain is getting worse even with my round the clock painkillers. With my current health state I don’t think it would be a good idea to hope it goes away on it’s own.

I was thinking earlier on about how angry I am about being ill and how one illness leads to another, like when your run down your more prone to infection or that your so ill you need to sleep all the time but by sleeping so much your missing out on fluids and end up with a kidney infection. It’s a horribly vicious circle and once your in it it becomes a maze with lots of dead ends.

As a nurse I always try to think how a patient feels and sympathise with their situation, but it’s only now as an “ill person” that I’m realising ill people feel just the same as everyone else, they do think something of taking 30 tablets a day even if they have been doing it for years, it doesn’t mean “their used to it” or when you hear that Mrs Jones now has a uti you might think “oh she gets them all the time” or “she’s always got something wrong with her” maybe they do but it might still take them by surprise, if like me they still don’t see themselves as a chronically ill person they might feel angry and wonder when it’s all going to stop.

How can patients have hope and positivity if they “give in” and assume these things will happen. If anything good has came out of this illness bout (can I still call it a bout when it’s been over a year ?!) then it will be the ability to not just sympathise with patients but empathise.

So to end this on a positive note, only 10 more mins till paracetamol time 😀



So this morning I went for a HIDA scan due to my recent stomach problems, like most people would I read up on it a little bit before hand, but not too much as the internet can be full of scare stories etc.

The first part of the scan where they inject you with the radioactive isotope was fine, slightly uncomfortable lying on a tiny “tray” for an hour but otherwise ok, oh and the nurse put on Jeremy Kyle to keep me amused, a programme I never watch but if someone else puts it on I can get drawn into it 😉

After the hour was up the nurse gave me the most vile drink on earth, she did warn me it was gross, it was meant to taste of strawberry but was more like smelly feet, the consistency was gloopy and oily, she said years ago at the old hospital they used to give out bacon rolls or Mars bars lol, So back under the scanner to see if my gallbladder would empty efficiently and that’s when the nausea & pain began.

At first it was just crampy but by the time we took a break I felt like it was a full on attack. I asked if this was normal, they said if that’s how I would react to a fatty meal then it’s normal as it’s the only way they can check my gallbladders efficiency.  I’ve not ate a meal for weeks but that  was the similar throbbing in the abdomen and stabby shoulder pain, deferred pain is a funny thing!

So at the end she said my gallbladder had partially emptied into my small intestine but was still quite full so it will probably be bye bye gallbladder but it will be up to the surgeon and what he takes from the report.

The rest of the day has been spent in doped up pain, I’ve taken everything I can, I feel woozy but still have the pain, I’ve reached the “take me to the hospital now” point a few times but my experience from my last admission has kept me here.

When I started my nursing course I felt young and healthy, now I feel old and ill and very much the patient. I have to take 28 tablets a day to keep me alive, some of the physicians I’ve met don’t think about this when adding in new meds, luckily my GP is good with my medications management and takes me off anything I can do without.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a healthier day, I knew it was bad today when I didn’t enjoy my Starbucks and actually wanted to stay off as opposed to fighting the sick line.

Maybe tomorrow….